Most of us are disappointed and angry with ourselves when we overeat. We assume our tendency to binge means that we have no self control. We often privately think of ourselves as less than and without realizing it we allow our inner critic to run roughshod over us. That's when the beatings begin. Beating up on yourself is a lot like complaining. Nothing is getting done, because a part of you has already shut down and stopped listening. You’ve become immune to your babble and self critical ways. What you need to get out of the self abusive loop that caused you to overeat in the first place is some good old fashioned TLC.
Here’s a quickie excerpt from my upcoming book, “Lovin’ the Skin You’re In: The Juicy Woman’s Guide to Making Peace with Food and Friends with Your Body.”
How to Baby Yourself On Those ‘Fat’ Days
A fat day is when you feel fat everywhere, even in your bones. On these days, the best thing to do is be as loving and gentle with yourself as you can. Recognize that nowhere on any list of feelings does the word, “fat” appear. Fat is not an emotion. It has nothing to do with the fat on your body and it has more to do with what’s going on in your life way beyond your relationship to food. Be curious and willing to look at whatever is going on now in your life and see if you can find how that might be making you feel angry, sad, rejected, disappointed, depressed, frustrated, confused or any other emotion that might perhaps put your body on overload.
By identifying the real culprit and source of your bloated emotions, it will reduce the stress level that you feel. Dr. Nancy Bonus, the creator of the Beyond Dieting Program says, learn to love yourself now as you are. Realize that permanent change requires a climate of love and nurturing, not self loathing and disgust.
Here are several tips to help you get over the hump of those very challenging fat days:
Get clean - Seems silly but I’ll say it anyway, take a shower or bathe. On these days, you don’t want to add insult to injury by getting more upset because you’re smelling yourself, and not in a good way.
Fragile: Handle with Care - As you step out of the water and dry yourself, be extra tender and if you don’t already do so, pat yourself dry gently, as you would dry a baby. Next you might like to find a wonderful scented lotion or oil and rub that all over.
What to wear - As you choose what to wear, keep in mind comfort is key. Wear undergarments and clothes that give you plenty of ease and feel good. If you have something to wear that’s especially soft or furry, or any other textured garment that has a delightful ‘hand’ feel which reminds you of being comfortable and warm, then choose that one as long as it fits and does not bind.
Make up? Decide how make up feels to you. Does it feel like it would cheer you up or is it a big pain? Personally for me, on those days, I would never wear make up, because I just want to be plain and simple, Andrea. You decide what’s best for you.
Take plenty of “Me” breaks - If you’re self employed, it’s a good time to take a break and get in some “me” time. If that’s the case, then think about what you would like to do. Perhaps curl up with a good book, or put on a DVD, or some music, anything that inspires you and relaxes you. If you have a pet, then seat them on your lap and pet and stroke them softly, noticing how peaceful and contented they are.
If you have to work, then do your best to focus on the task at hand, taking mini breaks to check in with yourself and reconnecting with your body. Modify your wardrobe to meet the requirements of your environment. Do your best to honor yourself and your feelings.
What to eat - You may probably be really uncomfortable from overeating last night and not even want to eat anything. Do your best to pay attention and listen to what your body wants. You may find yourself not wanting to eat, or perhaps having a craving for something that reminds you of comfort. Do what feels right, allowing your emotions to guide you. Remember it’s all part of the learning process and every step that you consider to be a mistake is all part of the plan. It’s all good.
Releasing Emotions – It’s times like this when I want to enjoy a good cry. I like to curl up, listen to old Elton John tunes or watch a DVD of his and just release all my sadness. I’ve been a fan of Elton’s since I’ve been 11, and so many of his songs have been the soundtrack throughout my life. His music has gotten me through the toughest times in my life and makes me feel like I’m never alone.
Think about some music that has deep meaning for you and play it. I also use music to coax me up the emotional scale. I may start with Elton and by the time I’ve felt a bit better, I’ll move to Jana Stanfield’s “If I Were Brave.” By the time I listen to that, I can take on the world.
EFT, Tapping - Some gals like to tap on days like these. If you find tapping helpful, then be my guest and tap away. Whatever you decide, since emotions are running high now for you on these days, I want to encourage you to vent, vent, vent. Scream, curse, let your sailor mouth go! No holds barred! Find a place where you have some privacy and let ‘er rip.
Journal - After the siege is over and your head is a bit more clear, analyze what happened. Keep a journal, write things down. This is great way to get to know yourself better. The next time you overeat ask yourself the following questions:
What's happening?
How am I feeling?
How have I overextended or overcommitted myself?
By asking the above questions, you will be able to guide yourself to change your perspective. You’ll switch from blaming mode to being more compassionate. These questions will put you right back into the present moment so that you can see what is going on in your life that is causing you to reach for food when you’re not hungry.
And to learn more about how to slim down without dieting, yummy up your life, end emotional eating, make peace with food and friends with your body go to http://www.thejuicywoman.com and I'll teach you how to be curvy and confident at any size
From Andrea Amador - The Juicy Woman
Hey Andrea, you Juicy Woman...
It's Jana "If I Were Brave" Stanfield saying, "Hey what a great blog!"
Google let my manager know that you mentioned me. Don't you love this internet?
How do I handle it when I overeat? I read this blog and write in to say that we are abstinent from compulsive overeating again the minute we finish the last bite. Whenever that is. Let's love ourselves deeply and completely no matter what!
My new CD comes out on Monday! Would your readers like to know about it?
Jana
Posted by: Jana Stanfield | October 15, 2009 at 08:07 PM